The Round of My Life... (so far)

Hey, greetings again!

Well, as promised, the round of my life!

The Venue:



Before you get all excited, keep in mind this is an "Executive" Golf Course... There is 10 par 3's, 8 par 4's, and no par 5's. So, while not long, it's tricky, and there's a lotta water. So, the premium is on ACCURACY, not distance. Which is good for me.

Also, as I've said for 20 years, it's a HUGE plus to play a place over and over... and to be fair, I've played this place at least 25 times.

The Front Nine:



Hole #1 is a straightaway par 3, around 170 today, per my bushnell laser rangefinder. That's a bad distance for me, and I had decided I wasn't going to hit anything "hard" today, after two previously very humbling rounds... Okay. I considered a light 4 iron, rethought, hit like a "normal" very controlled 5-iron. I was trying to get off to a good start, after starting off 6 and 6 the previous 2 attempts here. I hit the 5, Takes off really nice, flying, dead straight, no real draw or fade, and it is RIGHT AT IT. Lands short, right on line. I was kinda disappointed, but when we drove up, this green is really small, and the ball is actually only a couple yards short. Hit a low running chip too hard, rolled past. Putt back down, missed left, a two-footer goes down for bogey. A good start. Waaay better than a 6.

Hole #2 is a par 3, playing 113 today, plays completely across a pond. In my prime, this is a PW. I decide on a smooth 8. The wind is really calm today, almost dead, very unusual for Florida. It's always blowing down there. Another real nice shot, explodes off the clubface. Shot is pin high, lost it to the right a little. Hit a dandy little PW chip shot to 3 feet, drano for par. Wow. Bogey-par start. I've already shaved 4 shots from yesterday's round, heh heh!

Hole #3 is a medium par 4, tee shot across a decent pond, then dogleg right, to a green. The play here is to hit your tee shot right, and fly the pond and the woods if you can, and cut the corner. The previous rounds, my driver-type shots were leaking right, so I took my Tommy Armour 855 Silver Scot Senior Driver, aimed kind of left, and just tried to swing easy. Shot went exactly where I was aiming it, and if anything, it was drawing back a touch at the end. Okay, so I didn't cut the corner, but the ball is dry, not in the pond, not in the woods. Anytime I can find it and hit it again, hey, that's good. Small doggies love that. I have maybe 150 to the green. I hit a smooth 6, which draws left a little, and comes up a little short. After a fairly poor chip, I two-putt for bogey. Oh well...

Hole #4 is a straightforward par 3, 120 or so today... 7 Iron flies right, but is pin high. A woeful short chip leaves another chip. The second chip is great, rolls down and cozies up to the hole. Tap it in for bogey. The way I typically play, I'll take bogeys. And actually, that second chip left me with a real good feeling... And actually, when I start drawing the ball a little, that's generally a good sign.

Hole #5 is a very tricky par 4. Tee shot must carry a pond, pond is all down the right, and crosses back over the fairway around 200-220 away, framing a landing area that is from around 130 to 220, depending on the line. The second shot then is dogleg right, back across the pond, to a green fronted by the pond. I know people who could drive this, but not me. I decide to choke down the 855 driver and just poke it out there. My right hand is down on the shaft, this is totally choked, and I barely take more than a 3/4 swing. Shot comes off low and hot. Lands in the middle of the landing area and rolls forever, disappears near the far bank. The Fireplug is scared. Not to worry, drive out there... if you wanted to pick a spot to place your ball, this is it. Really lucky. Perfect. 68 yards to the flag. I am literally in the last 3 feet of fairway. I hit a lovely 3/4 sand wedge than lands about 12 feet right, pin high, on a small green. Putt is the perfect distance, leaks left at the end. A 1-foot tap-in for par. I've taken so many 6's and 7's on this hole, a routine par feels like Eagle.

Hole #6 is a tough par 3, about 170, must carry the water all the way, and water all down the right, slightly elevated green that slopes hard towards the lake. Not good. I have drowned my previous two attempts here and taken big numbers. I decide to hit 4-iron, smooth, aimed well left... My goal is to stay dry at all costs. I hit the 4, smooth, feels like too much. Ball is left, heading for a monster bunker. Ball starts to fade right, lands between the bunker and the green. Well, it's dry. Roll up in the cart, and I see it actually is on the green. Well above the hole. Putt is down hill and side-hill, straight down towards the lake. Bad visual putt, frightening. I pick a line maybe 15 feet left of the hole, it's going to be a huge breaker, and stroke it. Putt starts rolling... it is turning... break looks real good... putt is picking up speed, this could be ugly...putt tracks into the hole and goes in doing about 20 miles an hour. Crazy lucky. Insane. A birdie on the brutal 6th.

The incredible 5th and 6th, par-birdie. I am in shock.

The 7th is a pretty normal par 3, plays 135 today, dead straight. Tee shot is short right. A nice chip to about 8 feet, and ka-boom!, he makes another putt. Par. This is like an out of body experience. I'm tempted to pinch myself. Par-birdie-par. My putter, the true weakness of my game my whole life, showing signs of performing...

The 8th is a par 3, real tricky heavily bunkered green with 3 tiers... I saw one of my Dad's neighbor's ace this once. My tee shot is okay, but turns into a 3-putt on the tricky goony-golf green.

The 9th is a par 3 that is the shortest 105 yards on the planet. Heavy gator-filled woods & swamp behind, so long is quite literally dead. I've wondered over the years if this thing is around 75 yards, but my Bushnell laser range thing keeps saying 105, 103, depending on the flag. I choke way down on a PW, and swing away. For once, the shot is pin high. About a 20 footer, sidehill. I hit the putt... it is tracking, speed is really good... it stops on the edge... sits...sits...and like the Caddyshack Putt, drops in. Whoa. Birdie on 9. Crazy.

The Back Nine:



The back is longer... we gird ourselves for the challenge. If Fireplug was wearing pants, he'd hitch them up right now, just like Arnie, the King of Golf.

#10 is a long straight par 4, heavy mounds right, Houses and big trees tight on the left. I crush the 855 Silver Scot down the right hand side... ball draws back at the end, finishes right center of the fairway, perfect. I have 41 yards left, so that ball was a good 250-260, which for me is monstrous. After having a bunch of back and neck issues, the length is gone, sorry to say. I hit a half a sandwedge, it's truly a beauty, attacking the flagstick...Hits and stops like 6 feet. With heart palpitations, I approach the putt. This is the worst kind of putt for me, a putt I think I oughta be able to make. Boom goes the dynamite, it's in for a 3. Another ridiculous birdie. The belly putter I have really helps at least on the line of these kind of treacherous putts. I've taken so many 6's on this hole, it's not even funny...3 feels like I'm playing the wrong hole by accident.

#11 is a long long crazy par 4 that has truly been the scene of the crime on many occasions. Lotsa 7's and 8's here. Long tee shot into a landing area. From there, it's a good 160-170 to a green surrounded by big deep water on 3 sides (front, right, and back) and heavy deep bunkers left. My tee shot is snapped left a little, hits a tree. Not good. I decide to try a hero shot from here, it's 200-ish. 5 wood, takes off pretty good, starts leaking right, and is short. Ugh. Seems to go in a moderate bunker front right. Oh well. Roll up there, it's short of the bunker, I have a chip. I hit a decent chip, it's maybe 7 feet. With cardiac arrest imminent, I hit the putt... it does a complete 360 around the hole, teeters out, then teeters back in for a par, only the second par of my life on this infernal piece of real estate. Okay, I take that back, my Dad lives on this hole...

#12 is another long par 4, with just a lagoon right of the green, but not really in play. This is a heavily sloped green though, guarded by a large mature tree in front. Tee shot is huge, straight, right center. 2nd shot is high, flies straight over the tree, lands behind the flag. My nerves are totally shot, as I proceed to do a more routine 3-putt, the 3rd putt being a 6-footer that nearly missed. I feel lucky to save bogey.

#13 is a long par 3, water all down tight on the right, lotta houses left, definitely in play on a shot this long, like 200. I hit the 5 wood, it is good, at the end it draws left and ends up behind some trees, short and left. In a miracle development, I have a shot thru the opening in the trees. My chip is waaaay too hot, sizzles past the hole a good 25 feet. 2 putt from there for a bogey. I'm okay with that, this hole can turn into a 7 real fast.... I'm speaking from experience on that. (Fireplug nods head soberly...)

#14 is a tricky par 3, like 140 today, but the green is heavily mounded all around it, so you can see the flag, but not the green itself. I hit a nice shot into this, hard to tell. Drive up, it's on the green, kinda straight up a slight hill, 25 feet. I hit a firm putt, trying to lag it close, and it goes in, just like the PGA Pros woulda done it. Insane, another birdie. I realize I'm doing waaay better on the longer putts that I'm really not thinking about making at all... So many have gone in, it's getting ridiculous...

#15 is a short par 3, carry over water all the way, onto a fairly flat open green. Tee shot is yet another good one, I'm really getting off the tee today, whew. Approach putt is the perfect distance, tails left at the hole. Inside the leather tap in for par. Made it look so easy....

#16 is a kinda normal par 4, sorta long, well defended by trees right. Tee shot is really good, another explosion off the face of the 855. Tracks down the right hand side, draws back to the middle, textbook. The easier I swing this thing, the longer I'm crushing it. I have 38 yards left, so again, this is 240-ish... a monster for a puppy like me. I hit a half a sand wedge, flies up in good shape. Routine 2 putt. Another par. Whoa.

#17 is a tricky par 4. Not that far, but it curves left all the way, and is well defended by mature trees the whole way. Tee shot is a 4-wood, a little Goldwin Golf AVDP milled 4 wood I'm particularly fond of. I thought I could draw it, but the shot is dead straight, thru the fairway, into the rough, right of the green. 63 yards or so. I hit another 3/4 sand wedge, and it's a beauty. Ten feet. Putt is choked, woefully short, leaving a brutal 3 footer that miraculously goes in for par, as The Frankster readies the defibrillator....

#18. is a brutal finishing par 4. Big lake all the way down the right side of the fairway, to a landing area, then a dogleg left, across a rocky creek, to a small green surrounded by gator-filled woods. This has been the scene of some reeeeely big numbers in the past. I am strangely calm. The Frankster has been writing down the scores, so I really have no clue that something special is happening. If you had asked me at that moment, I'd have said I made some miracle birdies, but otherwise it's been an okay round. In retrospect, I have got off the tee fabulously all day, and my chips have really been solid, and I've avoided big trouble when it could have grabbed me and dragged me into the swamp. I fire away with the 855 Silver Scot, the shot is big, long, towering... skying a little down the right, it draws back to the middle. Roll out there in the cart, and much like the 5th hole, if you drove out there in the cart, and picked a spot to PLACE a perfect ball, this was it. Perfect. 80 yards to the hole. This might be the perfect full sand wedge. Much discussion ensues with The Frankster, who over the years has gotten a real keen eye to my game, and the sorta shot I'm good at. He doesn't play, but he has a knack for games and sports, and knows what he's looking at. He doesn't like it, he wants a 3/4 PW. I'm kinda talking myself into the sand wedge. The sand wedge has been knocking down flags all day, I'm feeling it. I go ahead and hit it. Ball goes a mile in the air... It's so high, we're literally discussing, it's got so much hang time. Ball falls out of the sky, boom, one hop, sits down tight to the stick, maybe 5 feet.



That's the ball, right there, on 18. Best approach of the day, it had to be. Again, I need a nitroglycerin tablet, before I can contemplate this putt. Firm left center, boom, it goes down for my insane 5th birdie of the day.

Crazy. One over for 18 holes. One UNDER on the brutal back Nine.

What can I say. The round of my life. On December 5th, 2008, my 45th birthday, no less. After a year of some brutal back pain and literally no practice whatsoever...

There you have it. Witnessed and everything.

I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.

Until next time...