Very cold here.... very cold.
Today's topic, since it's Christmas, is big money. You definitely want to be related to these people... and if they're cheaping out on your gift, you need to get that addressed....
This is Lloyd Blankfein. Hello, Lloyd. Why is this guy so happy?? Well, he's a big shot at Goldman Sachs, the right hand of your very own Federal Reserve, and rumored apparatchnik of the Fed's vaunted "Plunge Protection Team", errr, sorry, their Committee on Open Markets, I think they're calling themselves...
Anyway, Lloyd is gonna make $70 Million Dollars! Not bad. He's being lauded at the moment for keeping Goldman Sachs out of the subprime mess.... tell me again how "no one saw this coming".... Yeah.
So, If you're on Lloyd's Christmas list, you're looking for something big.... like a new Corvette Convertible. Seriously, income for income, percentage vs percentage, Lloyd buying you a Corvette is like me getting you a $50 gift Card to Home Depot.... I know. You're feelin' me.
This is Robert Nardelli. They call him Bobby around the office...(actually, they don't, but it would be pretty funny). Anyway, speaking of Home Depot, Bob used to run the place. He was only making like ten to fourteen million a year at that gig though. He was at the controls when they lost 40% of their market value, and then mysteriously sold off some of the most profitable components of the company. Strange. But anyway, after that amazing performance of Captaining the ship, he retired with a very juicy $210 million dollar severance package. Nice. That'll keep you in Bacon Cheeseburgers for awhile, dude....
Not to worry though, his retirement barely got rolling, his golf lessons were just starting to show some results when he was named Chariman and CEO of the new Chrysler Corporation. Heh heh, yeah, after his "MVP-like" season at Home Depot, you can see where Cerebrus was thinking "we gotta have this guy". A-Rod just got a lotta money, but he probably deserves it, he was MVP of the freakin' league!!! Bob? Ahhh, not so much, no.... nuh uh...
But if you're on Bob's Christmas list, you should probably be thinking Corvette also... assuming he has any of the amazing retirement money left, if he bought you a new Corvette Convertible, that would be like me buying you a $25 Gift Card to Home Depot. And you'd probably call me a cheapskate if I did that... So, note to Bob, you better buy them a Corvette Convertible, and a $60,000 gasoline credit card, for that to be a reasonable gift.... yeah, you're feelin' me. I'm just trying to help.
This is Trouble. No no no, His NAME is Trouble... He's a little boy Maltese doggy. And here at The Adventures of Fireplug Headquarters Bunker of Ultimate Defense (and Bacon Cheeseburger Repository), we Love the small Doggy, in all it's forms...
You may recognize the woman in the picture, that is the notorious Leona Helmsley, recently passed away. Allegedly not a nice person to work for, but we have to give her some props, she left a $12 million dollar trust fund, to care for her dog Trouble, for the rest of his life. Now, if you're going to be a super millionaire - billionairre, at least you can do something good with the money. Like, take care of a dog. Yeah. See, you're feelin me now!!! Yeah, exactly.... You love it.
That guy can get a Corvette Convertible, and drive to Culver's every day for a Bacon Cheeseburger!!!
Well, that would have been the end of the post today, but in a very late-breaking story, Former #1 Golfer in the World Greg Norman (aka the "Great White Shark") has announced that he and former #1 Tennis Star Chris Evert are engaged to be married. They allegedly carried on a hush romance for a year or so, and announced their engagement this morning.... This will be his 2nd marriage (after a recent ugly divorce) and her 3rd marriage. More to follow on that, next time.
Until next time, enjoy!!!
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